Former CUT.LOVE.KILL. Bassist Auditions For KELLY OSBOURNE Touring Band

Chris Sprinkle, former vocalist/bassist of CUT.LOVE.KILL., recently auditioned for the bassist slot in Kelly Osbourne's touring band, which is scheduled to embark on an upcoming tour within the next few weeks. Here's his account:

"I got a phone call a couple of weeks ago from an agent in L.A. in regards to my scheduling an audition as the bassist for Kelly Osbourne's touring band, which is set to embark on a tour within the next few weeks. Having just recently auditioned for another band several weeks before, though not securing that particular spot, I suppose I made a positive impression and they wanted me to come out for the new opening with Kelly. I went out to Wherehouse Music to pick up the 'Papa Don't Preach' CD single and sat down that afternoon to learn the song.

"Two days later, I was off to Third Encore Studios in North Hollywood for the scheduled audition. I'd recently auditioned for another bass spot several weeks before so I was pretty sure about the process that I was getting myself into — at least so I thought. As soon as I pull into the parking lot, I see an MTV camera crew swarming the building. I immediately thought to myself, 'Fuck! They're filming The Osbournes!' Nerves of steel immediately melted.

"I sat in the car for a second or two to calm my nerves as this was fairly unexpected seeing that Kelly wasn't even going to be at the audition. Apparently, Kelly was with Sharon as she wasn't feeling well as a result of the chemotherapy treatments. In a music community having already lost Chuck Schuldiner and recent cancer scares with both Chuck Billy and James Murphy, I send Sharon my thoughts and prayers in her fight against cancer.

"Enough with the brown-nosing and back to the story. After listening to the single once more, I finally turned off the car and brought out my bass. I walked up to the rehearsal studio, sat on a couch, and withdrew my bass from its case to begin a warm-up. Somehow, I think I slipped through the screening process as I was at least a good 10 years older than damn near everyone else warming up in the hallway. As soon as I began my own warm up, TV lights blazed and cameras honed in on this aged musician (at least in terms of L.A. years) — The Osbournes, here I come. They hovered for what seemed like 10 minutes, cut the lights and handed me a legal waiver asking for permission to use my likeness in upcoming MTV features. I eagerly signed my life away as The Osbournes series wasn't specifically mentioned so perhaps I'll be inserted into a future Sorority Life or an MTV Spring Break episode sitting on a couch attempting to run through 'Papa Don't Preach'. The crowning jewel in my musical endeavors thus far.

"I had been scheduled for an 8:00 p.m. audition and things were very prompt and professional. At about 5 [minutes] till 8, an assistant came out to call my name along with a guy (whose name unfortunately escapes me) who was also auditioning for the vacant guitarist spot. The agent who set up the audition greets me as, 'Hey! Sprinkle's here and he drove all the way from Vegas for the audition.' Immediately, cameras honed in on my mug and questions were asked such as, 'You really drove all the way from Vegas for this audition?' Indeed I had, and nerves were high with all this unexpected camera business going on throughout the process. One of the producers of The Osbournes approached me and asked if they could do a brief on camera interview with me in regards to my driving four and a half hours from Vegas for the audition which I eagerly agreed to do.

"Kelly's touring drummer (again, whose name escapes me) sat in on the session as did an attractive L.A. type in lieu of Kelly's absence as we ran through 'Papa' under the ever present eye of the MTV cameras and a room full or A&R guys and gals sizing up the whole situation. I played fairly well despite the nerves and then ran through a quick two-minute original composition on the bass (which I'm sure I signed away in the aforementioned waiver). The other guitarist ran through his own original composition as I put my bass away. Then we exchanged farewells and I headed towards the cameras.

"Nerves were still running high as the crew surrounded me asking me various questions about the audition, my prior experience with other auditions having driven from Vegas, etc. I'm not sure exactly what my responses were but from the mere fact that I undoubtedly drove the farthest and was quite possibly the oldest guy there, I will most definitely make it past the cutting room floor and onto The Osbournes in some capacity. It's been a couple of weeks since the audition and I haven't heard any sort of follow up so it appears that I won't be joining Kelly on the road anytime soon. At least I will have finally made it onto MTV — though not in the capacity that I had originally anticipated! As I left, I passed off a copy of CUT.LOVE.KILL.'s Power Transition Theory to the MTV producers in hopes of their including it on air at some point. Listen for some of those selections on future episodes of Dismissed.

"For now, I'm working on putting together a post-CUT.LOVE.KILL. project out here in Las Vegas. Anyone interested in the project can check out MP3's at this location. It's quite a bit different than Kelly's project, which is probably yet another reason why I'll be sitting at home writing while she's out touring. Jack Osbourne! Ian Robinson! Save me! I need to be out on the road again! CUT.LOVE.KILL. on the MTV Wannabes fourth stage for Ozzfest 2003?"